“How do I have to be in order for you to be more free?”  -Orland Bishop

I read this quote recently and it hit such a resonant chord in me that I quickly picked up a pen and started to write.

I wrote with fervor… “Yes. Yes. Yes! This is one of the fundamental principles of selling from your heart.”

Now, someone who doesn’t filter all truths through the lens of selling might ask “What the heck do you mean by that, Vie?”  So, let me explain.

When I sell, I feel into what will work to make a connection with the particular person I am selling to, no matter what that requires of me. It means holding a space that says, “we come from the same source and have the same needs”. It requires seeing the divinity in another, trusting in their innate benevolence and treating them accordingly regardless of their actions.

I focus and direct my energy into breaking down the walls between myself and the other so that there is nothing distracting us from these basic truths.

I take all the responsibility for this. And it is this that is the heart of the quote. It says, “How do I have to be for you to be more free?” Not how do you have to be.

When we are free… we are free! We make our best choices! We act free of fear, from a place that is calm, centered and loving.

How do we bring another to this place? We act free of fear, we come from a place that is calm, centered and loving… FIRST.

This is how we take responsibility for another person when selling. It is no different than any other relationship we have.

When we hold this space for the commonality and divinity that we share, a miraculous shift from stranger to recognition can occur. The relationship rapidly transforms into one of warmth, openness and friendliness as we begin to recognize each other.

Conventional selling wisdom teaches us to use all kinds of tactics to keep us, the seller, in control of the situation.

But, what I have found is that it is only by surrendering my control that can I really connect. And, only through this connection, can I really sell with joy and integrity.

The truth is that the only control I really have is over myself.

Being a giving person is a source of my power; it has been the only sure-fire road I’ve ever followed to connection. It has worked over and over again. I let nothing stand in the way of me being giving to the person I am selling to; not any prejudice I have, nor one that I feel they have towards me. I choose to see both of our prejudices as falsehoods to be ignored for the greater truth that we are similar in our hearts and desires. It is from this place that I have reached out openly, time and time again.

When we master this ability in our selling and come from this new place, a sale will be made. Whether money comes to you from this work is secondary. You have made a sale by offering another kind of experience. This experience creates a ripple in the psyche of those who we sell to that forever changes them (and you).

This level of giving means letting go of all expectation of reward for your deeds. However, if you operate this way, you will be generously compensated in your life.

You will have enough to meet all your needs and this is wonderful and important! But the greatest compensation is found in the experience itself. It is in these moments that we have had the opportunity to see the divinity in each other.  Our exchanges required a deep trust in life and a knowing that we are both an integral part of an intelligent ecosystem.

Again, “How do I have to be for you to be free”?

This IS the million-dollar question to return to when we are selling.

When I committed to a practice of answering this question, my selling capabilities grew in leaps and bounds. I highly recommend turning to this question when you are stuck and see where it takes you.